she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize