My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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