you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
