I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize