So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
