He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
