Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
