Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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