We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
