my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
