shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
