I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
