is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
