ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
