It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
