Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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