The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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