I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
