so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
