shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
