Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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