Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize