Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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