shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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