have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
