I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize