I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
