We're facebook friends in real life
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize