threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
