I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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