Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
