I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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