So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
