Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
