You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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