Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(561): View more from Florida

Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.

(1-561): View more from Florida

He looks like a bad one night stand.

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(786): View more from Florida

I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.

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(+44): View more from England

Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

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(315): View more from New York

apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.

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(660): View more from Missouri

I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

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(703): View more from Virginia

We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time

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(314): View more from Missouri

There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.

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