It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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