I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
