Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
