Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
