We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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