So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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