I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
