The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
