I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
