Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
