I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
