so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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