Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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