But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
