just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
