Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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