So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
