I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize