Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
