I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
