U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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