i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How's work?
Spinning.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I am naked and annoyed.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
