Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
