If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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